War

You know, I want the boys to play together. I want them to wrestle together, play games together, build stuff together . . . but I find myself constantly saying things like, "Sonwun, you can't step on your brother's head."

Call me a cock-eyed optimist, but I thought that kind of thing was understood. Clearly, it is not.

What most often follows is Sonwun's go-to move designed to impress his parents. He will hug his brother and be sure to announce his action. And when he's in a calm mood, it's cool. When he's all wired up, however, it's more of a choke-hold than a hug. Again, he's missing the social cue that when someone's eyes are bugging out, it's not a hug, it's assault. But that's all part of being boys, all part of being brothers.

Boys tease, annoy and taunt things, boys tease, annoy and taunt their brothers.

So, speaking of the boys, I almost got them their first wasp stings yesterday. We've got a mid-size nest growing under the eaves of the garage, on the lawn side. When we're outside, I'm pretty careful about keeping the boys away from it. But yesterday I forgot.

I was mowing the lawn. Sonwun was playing the sandbox and Sontoo was exploring the yard. The dog was chewing a stick and kept dropping it in front of the mower, hoping I would pick it up and throw it. I didn't want to play her game, so I just moved the stick to an area I had already mowed. The dog, believing this to be a low-key substitute for the fetch game, kept picking it up and bringing it back.

I became annoyed. I picked up the stick and looked for somewhere to toss it, where she couldn't reach it. I didn't think it out very well, and tossed the stick up on to the corner of the garage roof, where I could reach it later, when I was done with the lawn.

I turned back to the mower and, two seconds later, found myself under attack by two wasps. I swatted away at them and looked toward the nest. It seems I pissed off the whole clan with my little stick toss and they were all coming out to register a complaint.

I grabbed Sonwun from the sandbox, tucked him under one arm like a football, grabbed Sontoo with the other hand and made a dash for the door. Good news is we all made it, sting-free.

So, today I picked up a big ol' can of wasp killer and tonight I'm declaring war. I'm not proud, it will be a sneak attack while they sleep. Yes, I pissed them off, but they attacked first and they attacked from behind. Cowards.

Anyway, I really have no choice but to attack. Sonwun now knows where the nest is and he is somewhat intrigued. And, boys being boys, I know that eventually he will want to toss something at the nest, just to see what happens. He can't help it; boys tease, annoy and taunt things. And these things, will not be as kind and forgiving as Sontoo.

So wish me luck.

Mommy's home in 10 day, one hour and 44 minutes.