Not Yet!

"Howwy Cow! Daddy, you have to see something."

Thanks to the bastards at Sears, I have heard this phrase now about 38 times in the last hour. And, with 107 days until Christmas, I'm going to be hearing it for a long time to come.

I was picking up my mail-order jeans this morning at the Sears outlet in Thompson when the "friendly and helpful" clerk handed Sonwun the annual Christmas Wish book. She told him it was full of toys and to check it out. Bitch.

When we got home, and after I explained that there weren't actually toys in the book, only pictures of toys, Sonwun settled in and has not put it down for an hour and a half. And every 30 seconds, "Howwy Cow! Daddy, you have to see something."

You know, I'm generally annoyed when retailers rush the Christmas season. You know, start putting out commercials and store displays before November, say, 30th. But it's September 8. Get serious. I haven't even contemplated Halloween, or Thanksgiving and you're already filling my kid's head with Christmas commercialism? Bite me. 'Tis not yet the season to be greedy.

After adding a Hot Wheels computer, a Cars computer, a bean bag chair, a train set, a car set, a Mega Bloks jet kit, a Lego construction site and a toy box (always the pragmatist) to his list of Christmas "needs," Sonwun brought me the "Granting Wishes Decoder." On it is the Sears web address where one is supposed to go and, using the decoder, find out if he or she has won a $10,000 Christmas shopping spree. Ugh. September 8. Seriously.

Did these Christmas Greed Guides always come out this early? I haven't really had to deal with a child who could actually appreciate them before. Or is this just another reaction to the "global economic crisis" and the fear among the heads of the major corporations that they won't be taking home seven-figure bonuses this year?

Well, whatever the case, I'm not playing. It's 23 minutes to nap time and, when Sonwun curls up under his Cars blankets, the Coveting Catalogue is going away for at least two and a half months. I realize the television commercials will start long before that time is up, but we do what we can.

In the meantime, Howwy Cow! I have to go see something!