Brain Vomit

Well good morning.


It's 3:40 in the blessed a.m. and I am awake . . . yet again.


But it's all good. I'm in the lobby of the Canad Inns Portage La Prairie. I am no longer in Thompson.


After a whirlwind month of selling the house in Thompson, travelling to Portage and buying a new house here, returning to Thompson and packing up, we're back here to stay. And so far it feels pretty good.


This is part of the RCMP lifestyle, I suppose. And it takes some getting used to. But we're getting there.


So, a theme for today . . . I don't know. So much has happened in the last six months and yeah, I know I haven't been writing. And I guess it's because I haven't really been at peace. Life had, and has, been turned if not upside down, at least a little off kilter.




I write best when I'm at peace, or when something really ticks me off. (I was gonna say p*sses me off, but the parental controls on this hotel computer are really touchy).


Anyhoo, leaving Thompson yesterday was bittersweet. It's nice to be leaving, but we had to say goodbye to the best neighbours, best friends, we've met since we began this little RCMP adventure. If you happen to be reading this, you know who you are. We miss you already.


But Thompson, MB, was not our favourite post, for a number of reasons. The isolation, the taxes, the generally depressing atmosphere . . . I could and probably will write more later. This post, my friends, is more about clearing my head. Which is why there really is no theme today. My brain needs to vomit and I just need to write.


So, with that in mind, let's talk about in-car DVD players.


I was always one of those dads that preached against them. "Kids don't need that. Stifles the imagination, kills creativity, teaches them to be entertained and not to seek their own entertaintment, blah, blah, blah."


Yeah, to an extent, I still believe that. But on an 8-hour drive from Thompson, to Portage La Prairie, the "I Spy" game goes something like this:

"I spy, with my little eye, something that is green."


"Is it a tree?"




"Yeah Daddy! Your turn."



"Um, okay, I spy with my little eye, something that is . . . um . . . green."



"A tree! Okay, my turn . . . I spy with my little eye, something that is green."



Gets a little tedious after the first hour or so. And yeah, we've made that drive five or six times in the last year and a half. So I broke down and bought the DVD player for the final drive. My sleep bank was depleted, my patience thin . . . it was a good decision.



Sonwun and Sontoo enjoyed Toy Story, Toy Story 2 and Cars. And Daddy enjoyed 8 hours without a single fight and only a tiny bit of whining. Nice!



And the brain vomit just keeps coming . . .



As we planned the move, sold and bought houses, we tried our best to get possession dates to match. And we did. Nov. 1 is possession for the new owners in Thompson and possession for us here in Portage. We planned to pack up the house Friday, drive Saturday, spend two nights in the hotel and meet our worldly goods at the new house Monday. The RCMP likes this, according to the IRP (Integrated Relocation Policy). And so did we. But . . .

The best laid plans . . . On Friday, after about 80 per cent of our stuff was packed on the moving truck, I was chatting with the driver. And he told me that our stuff would not be arriving until Monday, the following Monday, Nov. 8. News to me. And not good news.

We'd packed for a weekend. Not a week. Neomom's work clothes were packed away on the moving truck, and she was expected to start work Wednesday. Yeah, we'd have a house, but very little to put in it for a week.

But we're gonna make the best of it. It's so much easier to paint an empty house, do those minor repairs and maybe build that fence in the back yard. Good plan, if I had my tools. But I don't. They are, to the best of my understanding, somewhere between here and Churchhill, MB, on a truck, with everything else.

But hey, we're in a nice hotel, with a nice pool and waterslide for the boys and we'll probably get some painting done, as brushes and rollers are relatively inexpensive. The fence will just have to wait.

Oh, and did I mention that sister in law and her manfriend (are we getting too old for boyfriend?) will be arriving Wednesday? Yeah, we kinda figured on having a house set up for the arrival, you know, complete with a table and chairs for eating. Now? Well, we'll just play this one by ear. Be nice to see them regardless. Hope they don't mind camping out on the floor too much.

Well, Neomom's up and has joined me at the hotel computer in the lobby. So I must go now. Will write more later. So much stuffed into my head that needs to flow out through my fingers.

Later. And Happy Sunday!!

Sleep and the Band Aid

Oh, I wish I could sleep a little more. Should try to go back to bed right now, but I know my head will just keep swimming in a sea of plans, responsibilities, what ifs . . .

Hello all. Been a while, once again. I know. So let's catch up.

First off, we're being transferred out of Thompson, Manitoba. We're moving 8 hours south to Portage La Prairie, Manitoba. This morning in Thompson it is -1C. In Portage, it's +3. So much warmer down south.

Sold the house in Thompson, officially, last night. But here's the catch. Possession date is November 1. So that means today I must book flights for the House Hunting Trip (HHT according to the RCMP IRP). Must catch said flight Sunday morning and begin house hunting Monday.

If all goes well, we will have purchased a new home by Friday, fly home Saturday and then there are four days until the movers arrive to pack everything up.

In the meantime, we must satisfy all paperwork requirements of the RCMP IRP (Integrated Relocation Program), contact service providers such as gas, electricity, satellite, telephone, internet, mail and everyone who mails things to us. Where's that list??

Must close down life in Thompson, begin new life in Portage. It's daunting, I admit, at the best of times. But to pull it all off in a couple of weeks . . .

It's like a giant band-aid and we're gonna thoroughly test the "rip it off quick" theory. More intense pain, but for a shorter period of time.

Must pull Sonwun from Kindergarten, register him in Kindergarten.

Must empty all gas from gas-powered tools (snowblower, rototiller, lawn mower) for the move.

Must pack for HHT.

Must pack for move. Must make 8-hour drive with two kids, cat and dog.

Must say good-bye to best neighbours we've ever had.

Must meet with mover.

Must find home for dog and cat while on HHT.

Must not go insane.

Sleep would help. Need sleep. Should go back to bed right n . . . .

That's Policy

The end is near . . . I hope.

The seas are becoming rough in what was once a calm-water voyage through the RCMP IRP. So, what advice do I have for those preparing to set sail? Read the freakin' IRP through two or three times. Make sure you understand every word. Because if you don't, it may come back to bite you in the ass.

Now I should warn you, if you plan to get into this boat and read on, put on a lifejacket and seatbelt. It's a long and rough trip.

Let's start with the appraisal on the Gimli house. When we were getting ready to sell, we were told that we needed an appraisal. I was worried about this at the time, because I was afraid the appraiser would undervalue my house, and then the CRSP would put pressure on to list it for less than I thought it was worth.

Fortunately, at the time, we ignored the advice of the realtor, put the house up for more than she suggested, and sold it in two days - before the appraisal was completed.

Now, I figured that the house was sold, no need for appraisal now. We know the market value - it is what it sold for. And so I continued by trip through the IRP process under that assumption. (And you know what they say about assuming!)

Throughout the sale, purchase and move, I contacted my CRSP regularly by phone and email. I asked if everything was in order, was there anything more I needed to do. I stayed on top of the process and all seemed to be going well.

And then came packing day. I got a call and an email from my CRSP telling me I needed an emergency appraisal on the house. This was on the Thursday before we left for Thompson (on Saturday). The reason, I was told, was that we had to pay the real estate commission on 119 acres of the land we sold. The IRP would pay the commission on the house and a little over 1 acre.

And yes, it's right there, plain as day, somewhere in the 105-page IRP. Missed that one.

Fair enough, says I. But why bother with an appraisal? Why waste the taxpayer's money? We know what it sold for, why not just decide on the split? I suggested 90/10, with 90 for the house and 10 for the land. It seemed pretty fair to me, based on discussions with the realtor prior to the sale.

No, no, no, says the CSRP. Policy dictates that we must spend money on an appraiser, have him decide what the house is worth and then just assign the rest of the asking price to the land. I didn't like that. But policy is policy and the RCMP and bureaucrats everywhere love their policy.

And so, I hired an appraiser for Tuesday - one day before possession of the Gimli home by its new owners. As I would be in transit, I asked the CSRP to make arrangements with the appraiser (the one she suggested) to have him pick up the keys at my lawyer's office on Tuesday and complete the appraisal. OK, said the CSRP.

And so, on Wednesday, I called to see who it went and how much of the real estate commission I would be choking on.

The appraisal didn't happen, my CSRP told me. Seems the appraiser, she said, went to pick up the keys and my lawyer had already given them away to the new owners. Did you tell the lawyer that the appraiser was coming? Yes, said the CSRP.

I was not impressed and called the lawyer's office to see what the heck happened. And I got another story. Seems the appraiser didn't show up at all on Tuesday. But called on Wednesday morning (possession day) at 10 a.m. (possession was at 9 a.m.) and therefore could not get the keys.

I phoned the CSRP back and, eventually, got talking with the "Team Leader," who explained that there was a foul-up, and that the appraiser had called my Real Estate agent for the keys on Tuesday and something went awry.

Exsqueeze me? How did the appraiser know who the real estate agent was? Why would he phone her? How on earth did this happen?

The Team Leader said she'd look into it and get back to me. In the meantime, from my house in Thompson, I would have to contact the new owners, get permission for the appraiser to come by and permission to give him their phone number to set up the appointment.

I was a little ticked off. And a flurry of tense emails and phone calls followed. I once again proposed a 90/10 split to put an end to this mess. It was once again rejected on three different levels. No, I was told, we need the appraisal, we need the permissions and we need them now.

Fine, I said, I will get the permissions and you can arrange the appraisal. This was agreed upon. On Monday, I contacted the new owners and got my permissions. I let the CSRP, Team Leader and RCMP Relocation Coordinator know and left it in the CSRP's capable hands. I'm still waiting to hear what happened.

Why am I so bothered by all of this? Well, in addition to all of the phone calls, emails and headaches, there is the financial impact. If I'd known that I was responsible for this portion of the real estate commission, I would have set aside money from the "Personal Envelope" to deal with it. But, as I did not see this storm coming, I allocated that money to a Mortgage Interest Buydown, and I do not have any left to cover this cost. That ticks me off.

So why am I telling you all of this? I guess it's a warning to others heading out on the IRP ocean. You have to know what has to be done. You can not rely on others to know it for you, or to protect you if they miss something. Be warned, be wary and read the freakin' 105-page IRP, as well as the 100+ pages of the CSRP document "It's your move." Know what they say, do what they say, and stay on top of everyone involved - bankers, real estate agents, lawyers and Contracted Relocation Service Providers. They may be there to assist you, but in the end, if there are mistakes, errors, ommissions, it's your ass, not theirs.

That's policy.

Well good morning all!

It's another chilly morning in the great white north and we've survived our first week in Thompson.

Sonwun and Sontoo are adjusting to the new home - Sonwun enjoying the carpeted stairs like a toboggan run, and Sontoo loving the mirrored closet doors and the little man reflected in them.

Today is my first day back as SAHD, as mommy's off to work for a 12-hour shift today. Time to establish, or re-establish the routines that have been left behind in the packing, loading, moving, unpacking, unloading festival that has been our life for the past week or so. While most of our stuff has found a new home in our new home, there are still a few things out of place, a few pictures to hang and a little readjusting of furniture to be done.

Today, Sonwun and Sontoo are very active and I'm anxious to get them outside. It's still a little chilly here, but should warm up in an hour or two.

I have an anxious feeling today, probably because there is still an outstanding issue with the house in Gimli, due to problems created by the CRSP. To make a long story as short as possible, the CRSP failed to get an appraisal of the property in Gimli before we moved. As a result, I must now get permission from the new owners for an appraiser to visit. That should not be a major problem.

Once the appraiser is in, however, he will decide what the house and one acre is worth. The IRP will pay for the real estate commission on that portion of the sale price. We will have to pay the commission on the other 119 acres. I'm bothered because, in the past, appraisers were a little inaccurate, in my opinion. If he comes up short, it means I will have to pay more than I should.

I have offered the IRP administrators a 90/10 split, with 90 per cent of the sale price representing the house and 10 the land. Based on discussions with my real estate agent at the time of sale, and on the selling price of the home, it's a fair split.

They would rather take the more difficult route and pay an appraiser, after the fact, to make this determination. I just disagree with the idea that whatever he decides the house is worth will be subtracted from the sale price and I'll have to eat the rest. I think the entire property needs to be considered and then a reasonable split needs to be determined. End of story.

But no. We're dealing with RCMP policy, which bureaucrats hide behind like a fortress. Sure, it might cost taxpayers more, but that's what policy says.

But I digress.

Sonwun is now outside playing in his new sandbox, and Sontoo is watching Bob the Builder. There is much work to be done, hanging towel bars, clearing up the basement, dishes, laundry and all that fun stuff.

Let's Make a Deal

So, barring any surprises during the home inspection, we will soon be the proud owners of one of Thompson's overpriced homes.

It came down to two houses. One had a nice interior, but not much of a garage and not much of a yard. The other had a nice yard, good garage, but the inside needed some carpet and other carpentry related adjustments.

Given that winter tends to last for about 8 months here, we figured the nicer interior made a little more sense than a nicer yard that will be enjoyed only from, at best, June to September.

Anyway, it's a two-storey pad; finished basement with a gas fireplace to boot. It has decent carpet upstairs, hardwood floors in the living room, an island in the kitchen, complete with cooktop, and a built-in oven. There two good-size bedrooms for the boys, and a nice master bedroom for mommy and me - and all the bedrooms are on the same floor.

We checked with the local cops regarding the neighbourhood, and we're told it's relatively quiet. There's a good school nearby with a nice playground and the neighbour I spoke to seems nice. As I said before, it's not easy to consider all things that need consideration in a short visit to a new city. But we've done our best. And while we are pleased with our new digs, we find it difficult to celebrate when we feel the prices are just ridiculous. But it is what it is and there ain't much we can do about it.

So what's next in the little whirlwind adventure? According to the IRP, once this deal closes, we need to start getting ready to move. Off the top of my head, that means letting all who need to know our new address, and making arrangements to change our phone, internet, satellite TV and hydro. We must collect our medical and dental records, vaccinate the dog (had to do that anyway), maybe have a yard sale to lighten the load for the move and talk to the folks at the post office.

We are also supposed to start using up our staples and frozen food. Anyone know of any good recipes involving the case of cream of asparagus soup we bought a year ago because it was "such a great deal?"

If you can include a couple dozen frozen waffles and pogo sticks in the recipe, it would be helpful.

Anyway, home inspection tonight, probably meet with home inspector tomorrow to go over his report, and then we head home. After a few days in a small hotel room with two early-rising tots, I'm ready. And after the same amount of time in Thompson, I'm ready to soak up all of the time I can on our acreage in Gimli - before it's all gone.

Offer's In

Good morning and welcome to Day 3 of the HHT.

Last night we submitted an offer on the what we consider to be the best of the worst. It's like so many of the homes here in that it doesn't have it all by any stretch of the imagination. But it has some of the things we think are most important. It is still wildly overpriced - but they all are.

What struck me most this morning, as I drove up the road to Tim Hortons, is that many of the houses we looked at over the last two days had alarm systems. Strange that we're leaving a place where, for the most part, we didn't bother to lock our doors. Here, they're not only locked, they're dead-bolted and the alarms are activated. Sad but true.

Anyway, the offer expires at 4 p.m. today. In the meantime, at 9:30 this morning, we will be taking a second look at one of the other potential properties. If the deal on this first house doesn't happen, we move on, check out some more and make another offer. After all, including today, there are only 3 days left in the HHT. Too much pressure for such an important decision, I think.

As for Thompson, it's a little smaller than I thought it would be. Population, they tell me, is about 15,000. But everyone is squeezed in to a tight bit of real estate here. Going from one end of town to the other takes a little less than five minutes. Packed into that space, though, is a Walmart, Canadian Tire, Safeway, Staples, Tim Hortons, Boston Pizza, KFC and a fair number of other restaurants, bars, beer stores and assorted businesses.

Last night we took Sonwun and Sontoo to a playground at one of the local schools. There were a lot of kids there, which is nice to see. Sonwun had an absolute blast playing with the other kids, climbing things, running around like a maniac, falling off things . . . everything he's been denied for the last few days. He's been strapped into that damn car seat since Sunday, going from house to house, not being allowed to touch, not being allowed to run. He was a bomb waiting to go off. I think we'll be going back there at some time today.

Anyway, the boys are up and it's time to get the day under way. Wish us luck.

One sold, One to Buy

The HHT is on. After a rather stressful week waiting for the deal to close on this house, we're ready to take on the stress of another deal. Wooohooo!

Yes, at 3 p.m. on Tuesday, one hour before the conditional offer on this house was to expire, I got the call. All conditions removed, papers signed, house is sold. I actually got goosebumps.

Well, with that event complete, we are now planning and completing paperwork for the HHT. RCMP form 4064 has been completed and signed. We have booked a hotel room, contacted a real estate agent, searched on line for homes in Thompson, made lists, scratched things off lists and we should be ready to hit the road Sunday.

The HHT (House Hunting Trip) is described in the IRP (Integrated Relocation Plan) as a five-day, six-night event in the new detachment destination. We have been allotted two days for travelling each way, although we have been told there are not many hotels between here and Thompson that you would want to stay at with two small children. So we will most likely make the 750-kilometre journey in one day.

I was surprised to learn that flying to Thompson was an option under the IRP. But we have decided a road trip just makes more sense for us. Flying would mean driving in to Winnipeg, leaving a vehicle, travelling by someone else's schedule, getting a rental car in Thompson and so on. In addition, while the wife's flight and my flight would come from the "Core Envelope," the kids' flights would have to come from the "Custom Envelope," and we may need those funds down the road for other things.

I guess I should try to explain, as briefly as possible, the funding envelopes. They are they way we get reimbursed for all of the expenses associated with the sale of our house, the HHT, the purchase of a new house and the move. There are three envelopes - core, custom and personal. The core covers all of the big, unavoidable expenditures; real estate commissions, movers, lawyers, hotel rooms, travel costs and so on. The custom envelope is limited and covers "extras" such as having your kids join you on the HHT, upgrading from a compact rental to a minivan, getting an extra hotel room if needed, extending an HHT if required - that kind of thing. The personal envelope kicks in when all the money is gone from the custom envelope. But, and here's the exciting part, we get to keep all money left over in the personal envelope at the end of the game. So the goal is to avoid using any money from the personal envelope. Any money left in the other two envelopes stays in the RCMP coffers. Fair enough.

In any case, as I said, we've opted to drive, leaving Sunday morning and arriving in Thompson Sunday night. We'll look at houses for a few days, choose a couple and make an offer. Wait for the offer to be accepted or rejected or written back, and so on. We'll return next Saturday. We are trying (desperately) to look upon this as a little vacation, knowing that there will still be a fair bit of work and stress involved. But we're trying.

Anyway, I'm taking the computer on the road, so I should be able to keep you all updated as we go. Wish us luck!

Waiting Sucks

Well that didn't take long. Those first folks who came by to see the house have put in an offer. And we've accepted it.

You know, I thought that would be a relief, but it's not. As with every real estate offer, there are a few conditions to be met before the deal closes. With this deal, the purchaser (that's what they call them - we're the vendor) wants to secure financing, have a home inspector look the place over, and do a test of the well water. Fair enough. I don't have any real concerns with any of those conditions.

Still . . .

This is the excruciating part. We have a deal in the works. We're thinking about the next step - the HHT (House Hunting Trip). But is there something that could go wrong? Of course. That's why Murphy wrote his laws.

We'd like the deal to close ASAP so we can get on with this process. But we must wait 10 days for these conditions to be met. I know that on the grand scheme of things, 10 days is nothing. But try waiting them out. It's driving me a little nuts.

--

Okay, one day left now. It's Monday and the deal expires tomorrow. This is killing me. Yesterday, we heard that the home inspector had "some concerns" with the septic bed. I don't know, specifically what those concerns are and that, too, is driving me nuts. Actually, it's pissing me off a little. We have never had any problems with the septic bed itself. We had one problem with the septic tank in our six years here. The pipe came off the tank two years ago. We had professionals come in, dig up the pipe, cut it back to solid pipe and replace it with new pipe. And all has been well. I don't understand the concern with the septic field. And now I have to wait to find out. I just hope that the inspector has a solid understanding of septic systems. Our real estate agent suggested that some inspectors, who are less familiar with septic systems, will "express concern" in order to cover their asses should something go wrong. I really, really hope that's not the case here.

We are also still waiting to hear the results of the well water test. Again, no concerns there. We have never consumed the well water, but we use it to wash our dishes, wash our hands, bathe, shower and cook. We had the well tested when we moved in and all was well then. No need to believe otherwise now. Still, you worry and you wonder.

Anyway, the deal expires at 3 p.m. tomorrow. The good news is that, should this deal fall through, I know of at least three others who are interested in the property. But it would be nice to get on with the process. The waiting sucks.

Control Issues

I hate flying in airplanes. And the simple reason is, I'm not the one driving. And therefore, if something goes wrong, there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

When I worked in newspapers, I had the chance to fly in a number of stunt planes on media days leading up to the annual Friendship Festival in Fort Erie. I found I was most comfortable in the open-cockpit biplane. Pretty sure it was a Stearman, but it was a long time ago. Anyway, there were two reasons I was comforted as we did barrel rolls, hammerheads and loops. One, I had a parachute on my back and two, I could undo the seatbelt and get off this ride if necessary, "in the event of an unfortunate incident," I think is how the pilot put it. Not sure if this makes me a control freak or not, but it's just the way I am. The bottom line is that I had some control over my destiny that is not afforded in a 747.

(My pilot in the biplane that day, by the way, died in a head-on collision with a fellow stunt pilot a few years after I flew with him. No parachute would have helped that day.)

So why am I going on about this? Well, it's the IRP and the CRSP; the HHT and the HHE. Yes, I pointed out in a previous post that it appears the RCMP takes care of its people. Still believe it. But I am having some trouble trusting the system. Mostly because I don't trust most "systems" designed to "help me out."

Call it a control thing.

Yes, there are monetary benefits in the IRP, but there is, at the very least, a feeling that I've lost some control over the sale of my home. And that's difficult to take. Before I can even list our home, I must submit to two appraisals by folks out of Winnipeg. My wife and I must sign several waivers and permissions. And then, when we list our home, we were told, it would be "in our best interest" to list it close to what the Winnipeg appraisers say it's worth.

I'm not sure why it would be "in our best interest" to do so. I wasn't on the phone at the time, so I didn't get the chance to ask. But it would seem to me that what is in my best interest is to get as much as I possibly can for my home. Call me crazy. I also have some concerns regarding a Winnipeg appraiser's ability to accurately assess the value of a home in the Gimli market. And believe me, with the housing prices in Thompson, we need to get every penny out of this house.

So as I was hyperventilating and venting these concerns yesterday, my wife told me to chill out. The RCMP has moved a lot of people. We haven't heard too many complaints. They know what they're doing: relax control freak. Sit back in your seat, keep the tray in an upright position and enjoy the flight.

So that's what I'm trying my level best to do. There are still at least three months to go in this process and I don't need the acid in my stomach to eat right through before it's all over.

I realize I can't fly this plane. But between the CRSP, the Relocation Reviewer (don't know why she didn't get an acronym), my wife, the real estate agent, the lawyer and the RCMP, I fear I may become a passenger on this 747 headed north. That is my concern. If I can't fly the plane, I would at least like to be co-pilot, or navigator or something. And, if I can't be any of those people, I want a parachute and a seat by the door.

Looks Good on Paper

Well, I've had my first read through the 100-page IRP (Integrated Relocation Program) manual. And at first blush, I gotta say it looks like the RCMP takes care of its people when they are forced to move.

It would appear that every expence is covered and members are compensated for the massive inconvenience of moving their families hundreds of kilometres to new and distant locales. That being said, it would also appear that there will be a fair bit of paperwork, a few meetings and a whole lot of receipt keeping. Fair enough.

As soon as we meet with the CRSP (Contracted Relocation Service Provider), we can put the house on the market. When it sells, we are entitled to a fully funded HHT (House Hunting Trip) to Thompson. Gas is covered, hotels are covered and food is covered. Still, it's an 8-hour drive with two kids under 4. Can't really say I'm looking forward to it.

Also fully covered is the moving van, when the time comes. A night or two at the hotel here in town after Packing Day, depending on when our HHE (Household Effects) will arrive in Thompson; a night or two in a hotel at the other end, depending on how long it takes to unload and organize the house, and food for the entire duration. It's all part of the IAM & MRA (Interim Accommodations & Miscellaneous Relocation Allowance).

Told you there were a lot of acronyms.

One of the many stated goals of the IRP is to make the move as easy as possible for the RCMP members and their families. And while no move is easy, it really seems like they've done what they can to help. Even babysitters are covered, when necessary, to make packing and unpacking that much easier.

On paper, so far, it all looks good. I'll let you know how reality meshes with theory as we move along.