New Year ahead

Well, it's over.

The presents are all unwrapped, the tree is fading fast and there's a mountain of leftover turkey and trimmings in the refrigerator. Christmas 2009 is a memory.

Sonwun and Sontoo seem happy with their haul - and why not. They got more stuff than seems right. Sonwun was awake bright and early Christmas morning and stumbled down the stairs wide-eyed at the Christmas booty. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," he kept repeating. I'm not even sure where he came up with that expression, as it's not one Neomom or I use. Maybe preschool.

At four years old, Sonwun is at the peak (I hope) of the unabashed greed phase of his existence. He is not yet able to filter or stifle his verbal expressions of desire for everything he sees on television commercials or everything he sees under a Christmas tree. "Is that mine?" "I wanted that." "Can I open that one?"

I realize it's just part of being his age. But still, it's a little disconcerting on Christmas morning to watch him rip open one present with his eye on three others under the tree. We like to take our time opening gifts and he was having none of it. As soon as he was done shredding paper and identifying one gift, he was rabidly seeking the next, or seeking what his younger brother was holding.

I know, I know. He's just being a four-year-old.

Sontoo, on the other hand, at almost-two, is still happy to play with the wrapping paper; still happy to get one thing and go sit in a corner and play with it for an hour. He'd have been happy just with the colourful boxes cast off by his older brother. That's a little easier to watch.

Anyway, we survived and the big dinner on Boxing Day went off without any major hitches. No turkey disasters (in fact, compliments received on juiciness of bird - yay!) no drunken stupidity, children were well behaved. It was pretty good. Special thanks to Mom to J & J for the mashed potato suggestion. Worked very well and made the big day a little less stressful.

The New Year is approaching fast and I will admit it's always been one of the tougher times in my life. I think I spend too much time pondering the year gone by and, maybe, not enough looking ahead.

I guess I figure at the beginning of a new year, I should be able to look back at the last 52 weeks and be able to say I've discovered something deep and meaningful about life. I should have a better handle on happiness; how to achieve it, maintain it and pass it on to my children.

I guess that's a lot to ask of a couple of days of soul-searching. But here's what I've come up with for this year.

Make friends. Be a friend. Work to maintain friendships. Friends are important, as Sonwun reminds me on a regular basis. He is starving for friends, for people his age to come to his house and play with him.

And I realize, so am I. One good friend, I think, is worth his or her weight in gold.

And good friends are not easy to come by when you're changing your address every few years; when you're changing your lifestyle. Over the last four years, I have entered the married with children phase and have moved about 800 kilometres. I need a friend, or friends, who understand. I'm a stay-at-home dad and, as such, I need a friend, or friends, who understand this. These are not easy people to find.

On the plus side, I have many "virtual friends," most of whom were once real-life friends. But time and geography has changed that. We'll talk on the phone once in a while, swap emails a few times a year. But we can't sit down together and watch a football game. We can't go out and grab a beer and play pool. We can't smack each other upside the head when it's needed. Only a true friend will tell you when you're being an asshole and I think we all need to hear that once in a while.

Anyway, I have now officially entered the second phase of my annual New Year review. I'm ready to smack myself upside the head and tell myself to stop wallowing in the negative. Find the positive, reinforce it and forge into the year ahead.

I guess I have something to learn from both of my boys. From Sontoo, relax and enjoy the pretty paper. It's all yours and it makes cool noises when you squeeze it. It can be a plane, a ball or a hat. Life is what you make it.

And from Sonwun, if you want something, ask for it, chase it, earn it, go get it. Don't whine about it. Life is full of new and interesting experiences, people and potential friends. Yeah, enjoy what you have, but never stop looking under the tree.

Happy Monday!