Fear the Bunny

Well, that's a surprise.

Sonwun, my fearless first-born, mild-mannered alter-ego of Batman Flash, the Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight, the dude with batropes, batarangs and other high-tech gadgets on his Bat Utility Belt fears . . . the Easter Bunny.

At playgroup Friday, the Easter Bunny made an appearance to hand out some candy and have his picture taken with the kids. Sontoo, the younger, took a moment away from his snack to walk over and have a look at the big bunny, and then returned to his little picnic table to enjoy the rest of his juice. Just really wasn't interested.

And I'm not one of those parents that is going to force him on to the lap of this giant, fluffy, freaky Hallmark creation just to get a "cute" picture of him screaming. Why do this?

Sonwun, on the other hand, found a spot in the gym as far from the long-eared devil as he could be. And then he came and hung out with me, keeping one eye on the creepy cottontail at all times and asking that I do my best to make sure it did not see him. And he remained with me until it left the building.

Couldn't get an explanation for this out of Sonwun, so I remain a little confused.

I mean I know why I fear the Easter Bunny, but it can't be for same reasons.

When I was growing up, the Easter Bunny was a fine, mythical character; never seen, existing only the minds of children, like the Tooth Fairy.

But over the years, it seems, profiteers have brought the bunny up out of the rabbit hole and into reality. Why? So that someone can set him up in the mall and charge $10 a pop for the kiddies to sit on his lap and have their picture taken. This was taking place here on the weekend.

In the case of the bunny at playgroup, though no money was exchanged, I couldn't help but notice he was wearing a large "Crayola" hat with the company logo prominently displayed.

Yeah, that's what the Easter Bunny needed: corporate branding.

And finally, I fear the old-school Easter Bunny because he brings gobs of chocolate into my home. And while I have no problem with my kids enjoying a little chocolate, the diabetic in my looks at it like a basket full of crack. I want it. I can't, or shouldn't, have it, but if it's lying around the house . . .

And while we're on the subject of chocolate death, I played host to a Parents and Tots board meeting Friday. Laid out a few goodies for the six members expected, including one of my all-time, pre-diabetic, favourite treats: nanaimo bars.

They didn't all get eaten, as only two board members showed up for the meeting. Plenty left over.

The following morning, Sonwun watched as I was cleaning up, and he spotted the nanaimos.

"What's that dad?" he asked.

"That," I answered, "is evil on a plate."

"I love evil."

Fears the Easter Bunny, loves evil. The teen years should be interesting times.

Have a great week!