Twitterpated

"Dad, can my girlfriend come over to my house to visit me."

Ummm . . .

Observing the social development of an almost-4-year-old is wonderful, scary, interesting and hilarious. Some of it I'm prepared for and some of it catches me completely off guard.

"Don't stick the knife in the electrical outlet." I was ready for that one. "Eat your vegetables." Again, ready and willing. Even "The cat doesn't like it when you sit on his head and pull his whiskers." I knew it was coming.

But a girlfriend? A few weeks back, Sonwun had his first little crush at playgroup. She was a redhead and he was twitterpated (see Bambi). He followed her all over the gym for two hours, but, ultimately, was rejected.

He apparently recovered quickly from his first little heart-break. At playgroup yesterday, he had moved on to a new girl and she apparently found him equally charming. I watched as the two of them spent most of the two hours together, playing the in bouncy house, playing hide and seek, playing tag and, yes, even holding hands at one point. Wasn't ready for that.

I mean, we haven't even had "the talk" yet. You know, about girls having cooties and whatnot.

But, to be honest, it was adorable to watch. And when, near the end of playgroup, he asked if she could come over to his house, I was truly taken aback and mumbled something like "if her mommy says it's okay." Apparently she never asked mommy, because they left a short time later with no playdate set.

A second incident, which may or may not have been related to the twitterpation, also caught me off guard Friday. And to understand this one, you have to have watched preschoolers at play for some time.

I've seen this a couple of times and assume it is part of the "reindeer games" that little boys play; butting heads and, in their own little way, trying to earn the alpha male title. Although I'm pretty sure they have no idea what they're doing or why.

It goes like this: One little boy will walk or crawl slowly toward another. Sometimes he's growling and sometimes he just has a mean look on his face. The goal is, apparently, intimidation. And if the second boy shows fear, it only emboldens the growler who will repeat the process at every opportunity for his own amusement.

Well, I was watching Sonwun and some of the older boys playing in the bouncy house yesterday when this little rite played out. I watched as one boy, who was bigger and apparently older than Sonwun, started the slow walk toward another child about the same age. I could see the fear in the second boy's face. Sonwun was watching as well and he didn't like it. So he threw a flying tackle at the aggressor and took him out and into the wall of the bouncy house. The bigger kid backed off.

Now, again, I wasn't ready for this. Officially, I suppose, I was required to step in and have a little talk with Sonwun about aggressive behaviour and so forth. But I didn't. And I didn't because I was proud of him. I think he did the right thing.

If he'd done this to a smaller kid, I probably would have talked to him about it. But the kid was bigger, and was being a bully. If Sonwun had gone in throwing punches, kicking or biting I probably would have talked to him. But he didn't. If he'd followed the tackle with his own brand of bullying, intimidation or an extra shot, he would have required a talk. But he didn't. I think he played it just about perfectly.

To my credit, I didn't high-five him either. I just let it go and said nothing.

And although, in the back of my mind I have to wonder, just a little, if he was out to impress "the girlfriend," I just don't believe that to be the case. The look on his face and the action just seemed to indicate he didn't like what was happening and wanted to put a stop to it. And he did, and that was the end of it. All three boys resumed play, no one got hurt and Sonwun's street cred went up a few notches.

This type of thing is one I have struggled with. I want my boys to be kind and gentle (within reason for boys) but at the same time, I don't want them to think they can't defend themselves or, in this case, step in when they believe someone else is in trouble.

It's a fine line and it's one that I know Sonwun is not yet capable of negotiating. So, for now, I'll keep watching and make my decisions incident by incident.

This time, I think he, and I, made the right call.