Location, Location, Locaton

So, not a great day at playgroup Friday.

Sonwun and Sontoo were both in a high-maintenance mode, I was dog tired and, well, someone cancelled it without telling me.

In spite of the fact that it was cancelled, I showed up on time, set up the gym mats, took out the toys, slides and cars and sat down with my coffee. And again, in spite of the fact that it was cancelled, about a dozen other parents showed up with their kids. So it wasn't a complete waste of time.

That being said, let's talk about breast feeding, shall we? I know, I know, touchy subject. What do you, a lowly man, have to offer on this subject, hmmmmm?

First and foremost, I'm in favour. I think it's the best and most healthy way for a newborn to eat. There, that should keep the good La Leche League folks from picketing my home.

Second, I'm all in favour of doing it where and when it must be done. It is nothing more than nature at work. That should keep the femi-nazis at bay for at least a few minutes.

Third, I'm also in favour of a little discretion and a little awareness of your surroundings. As wonderful and natural a process as this may be, in mixed company with total strangers it can be, well, awkward. Argue that one if you like.

Back to playgroup. In an effort to keep it as safe and as fun as possible, the babies and toddlers get their own little area, on gym mats, with age-appropriate toys. The older kids, the preschoolers, pretty much get the run of the rest of the place. Around the edge of the gym are chairs, where parents generally sit, have coffee and chat. Occasionally, they'll join their young ones on the baby mat for a little playtime, or to settle a toy dispute.

Friday, for whatever reason, most of the moms decided to set up camp on the baby and toddler mat instead of in the chairs. And yes, the need to feed arose and, rather than find a less congested environment, mom just let nature take its course right there on the baby and toddler play mats, amidst the toys, the children and the other parents.

Now we have a bit of a problem.

I attend this Parents 'n' Tots group for the same reason as the moms. Give the kids a chance to meet friends and play, get out of the house and enjoy some adult conversation. I'm not there to look at boobs. But more importantly, as one of the only men there, I certainly do NOT want to be perceived as someone who wants to look at boobs.

And ladies, I really should point out that, as a mature male, who has two breast fed children, this does not do anything for me. At 16, maybe it would have, I don't remember. But I do remember that, at 16, oxygen was a turn-on so it's entirely possible.

When you are taking care of your baby in the chairs provided along the wall of the gym, I will not approach you. I will not sit down and strike up a conversation. That, too, would be awkward, inappropriate and more than a little creepy.

But when you are breast feeding in an area that was set up for my son to play, odds are pretty good I'm going to have to be there some of the time. He's only 18 months old and needs a little help now and again, especially Friday when he was in high-maintenance mode. It is not my fault that he chose to sit beside you, but you are sitting in his area beside one of his favourite toys. Your area, my area, is the chairs. You and I can stay well away from each other in those chairs. It's a big gym.

This way, we not only avoid awkwardness, but I avoid dirty looks from some of the other moms sitting there on the play mat. Everybody wins.

It's a brave new world ladies. Stay-at-home dads are here. We don't like to be excluded from Parents and Kids groups, because we too are parents and it's not about us, it's about the kids. We are not there to invade your space or to leer. We're fathers and most of us are more than familiar with breast feeding.

And ma'am, if you're fine with whipping 'em out in a very public, confined space, fine. So am I. Some of your friends, however, are not. It was clear some of them didn't like my proximity to this very natural event. But that was your choice. Not mine.

So until we stay-at-home dads are fully accepted in groups like Parents 'n' Tots, (or in society in general for that matter) let's work together to avoid this situation. You and I may be cool with this, but others, obviously, are not. And it is me, not you, that, in the eyes of some, comes out looking slimy. And I really don't like that.

So please. Take a chair. Get the job done and then join your friends back on the mat if you so desire. I'm not asking you to leave the room and I'm not asking you to use a bottle. It would be more than inappropriate for me to do so. As I said earlier, I think you have chosen the best feeding option for your baby. All I'm asking is for a little space to enjoy playgroup with my boys without looking like someone who goes out of his way to sit beside a breast-feeding mother.

I am not that guy.