Mike Zero

Well, it would appear there are no more swimmers in the pool is. Where I was Classic Mike a year ago, and Mike Light two months ago, I am now apparently Diet Mike, or Mike Zero. All the fun without all the sperm.

Yes, I passed my test. Got the news this morning. The vasectomy worked, I won't have to do that again. Halle-freaking-lujah. Oh, and here's a little tidbit for you regular readers. You remember my fun run to the Winnipeg lab a couple months back? Well, turns out they do the same test at the hospital right here in town. You think maybe someone would have mentioned that. It's a whole lot easier to make a 10-minute run in under an hour, versus the 75-minute run (obeying the speed limit) in 60. And I mean, why wouldn't they do the test. They have the microscope and I'm quite sure they can count to one.

Wish I had a more exciting story about this, like the last one, but it all went off without a hitch. So that's it.

In the slightly more depressing news category, it would appear our dog, Sabra, has contracted an immune-mediated, focal, inflammatory myopathy that preferentially affects the muscles of mastication. Yeah, I know you understand that, but for the simpler readers, I'll explain.

About three weeks ago we noticed swelling above Sabra's right eye. We took her to the vet, who checked her eye, gave us some drops and sent us on our way. We, and the vet, figured she'd either caught one of the cat's claws or a low branch in the back yard. Wrong.

With the drops, the swelling appeared to go down and drain to below her right eye. Then that disappeared, as did the muscle on her skull, just above the right eye. Back to the vet who discovered the dog can only open her mouth about an inch from gum to gum. You can't even force it open any more than that.

The disease is called Masicatory Muscle Myositis (MMM) and it can be fatal. Sabra is on some potent medication right now and we're hoping it works. If it does not, her jaw will eventually lock shut and she will not be able to eat, meaning she will have to be put down before she starves to death. I am not optimistic, but I am hopeful.

What concerns me most is that, if she dies, I will have to find a way to explain this to 3-year-old Sonwun. He loves playing outside with Sabra. Loves playing inside with Sabra. Sontoo just loves using Sabra as a big, warm pillow. He is only one, so this will not likely have as big an impact on his little world. But how do I tell Sonwun?

I asked my fellow SAHDs (Stay-at-home-Dads) on the Dadstayshome.com website what they thought about it. I wanted to know if anyone had gone through this with a child of similar age. The guys, while sympathetic, could not offer too much sage advice on this one. One says to tell the child the dog has been put to sleep. Another says no, if you tell him that, he'll be afraid to go to sleep himself. Another suggests the old, "dog ran away" story. That is countered by an article one of the guys offered which suggested that the child will wonder what is wrong with him that caused the dog to abandon him. Of course that same article suggests that I be completely open and honest and, if Sonwun wants to be in the room for the euthanasia, let him. Um, no.

But I guess the underlying truism in all of this is be honest. Tell him the dog is dead. The dog is not coming back. That will not be easy, but the prevailing opinion is that he will get over it and he will trust me to tell the truth in the future -- which means I can really play with his head when he gets a little older.

Anyway, that's the news today. Will keep you updated on the dog as I find out more. In the meantime, it's more paint, baseboard and trim. Must get back to it.