Show-Off Showdown Sucks

Let's talk toys today, shall we?

I've learned a fair bit about them in the last four years and it seems only right that I should share just in case any of you have young 'uns and are venturing into the marketing hell hole that is children's toys.

Sontoo just celebrated his second birthday Sunday. Well, technically, he won't even be celebrating his first birthday until 2012, as he is a leap year baby, born February 29. But we go through the motions each year anyway.

Anyhoo, Sontoo loves cars, specifically the Matchbox, Hotwheels size. And so, for his birthday, we purchased the Hotwheels Monster Jam Show-Off Showdown. It's a folding "hill" covered in obstacles that a little Hotwheels monster truck is supposed to race down. There are actually two lanes, so two trucks can race head to head.

Now, granted the toy is recommended for children ages 3+, so factor that into my critique.

And my critique begins with, IT'S CRAP.

Let's start with the fact that it only comes with one monster truck. Two lanes, one truck. That kind of thing pisses me off. It's kinda like the Nintendo Wii coming with only one Wiimote, or my old PS2 coming with one controller and without a memory card. I hate buying something that requires me to buy five more things to fully enjoy it.

But that is not my biggest beef with the Monster Jam Show-Off Showdown. It's biggest flaw is stability. When it is unfolded for play, the joints don't lock together in any meaningful way. And so, when played with, even by 4-year-old Sonwun, it collapses . . . a lot. And then it falls apart. That is frustrating, not only for the children, but for dad, who must reassemble it and set it back up every few minutes.

I suspect it would fair slightly better, but only slightly, on carpeted floors. But on hardwood, forget it.

Overall, don't buy it. Don't waste your money. It's flimsy, incomplete and frustrating. These are not highly sought-after virtues in toys.

It disappoints me on several levels. First and foremost, I paid money for it. Second, it's a Hotwheels product. And I thought, based on my own childhood experiences, I could trust the Hotwheels brand. Um . . . no. At least not this time. It's just crap.

Now, having provided a negative, allow me to finish with a positive. Geotrax. Worth every penny. It's an expandable train set made by Fisher Price. And I like almost everything about it.

The track pieces are solid, virtually unbreakable by two very active boys. They go together well, stay together well and provide hours of entertainment. You can start with a small set and build up with each birthday or holiday until you have enough track to cover the rec room floor.

And, both boys have loved it; Sonwun preferring the remote-controlled, battery-powered trains and Sontoo, who would rather push a non-powered train around the track by hand.

If it has a downside, it's battery consumption. The little train we have eats Duracells for breakfast and it goes through a fair number, even with the automatic shut-off that kicks in after a few minutes of use.

Anyhoo, those are my thoughts this morning. Monster Jam Show-Off Showdown bad, Geotrax good.

Have a great Tuesday!