Disconnected

Okay, house is sold, another house is purchased. We're on our way.

And now begins what I am discovering, and what I expected, will be one of the most annoying phases of the moving game . . . disconnecting and reconnecting my services.

Take the good folks at MTS . . . please. That, for those living outside of Manitoba, is the Manitoba Telecommunications Service - my phone, my cell phone and my internet "service."

I began my quest to change addresses at the handy and convenient MTS website. Where, to my surprise and pleasure, I found the MTS Moving Wizard, a program designed to make my move happen for Phone, Internet and Mobile service, all in one easy, convenient step. Oh joy!

Now before I go on, I should point out that I have dial-up internet service, because the MTS monopoly has not made high-speed available in my neck of the woods. In spite of this, over the years, I have received several phone calls from MTS telemarketers telling me that "high speed internet is now available in your area," and asking me if I wanted to sign up. Each time I have said, "Yes, thank goodness. It's about time. Sign me up, I want it, I want it, I want it!"

And each time, I have called back two or three weeks later only to have a helpful MTS representative tell me, that, no, it is not available. Never, ever, ever did they call ME to let me know. I had to call in spite of the fact that they made the offer and I accepted. At one time, MTS even cancelled my dial-up service in anticipation of my high-speed service and, again, didn't bother to tell me when they discovered high-speed wasn't available at my home. Nor did they re-connect my dial-up service until I called them to complain.

And so, with my blazing dial-up service, I set up an on-line account so that I could take advantage of the wonder that is the Moving Wizard. That took about 15 minutes. But half an hour into trying to use the Wizard, I gave up. The dial-up is just too freakin' slow and, with two toddlers running around, I don't have a few hours to sit at the computer waiting for the next screen. Nor can I tie up the phone line for several hours as I am often waiting for calls from the bank, the lawyer, the real estate agent or the Contracted Relocation Service Provider (CRSP).

And so, this morning, I called MTS to speak to one of the live Wizards and make the change. I went through all of the "For service in English, press 1 . . . for phones, press 1, for Internet press 2 . . . please enter your seven-digit phone number so that we may serve you better . . . please spell out antidisestablishmentarianism using the touchpad on your phone . . ."

When the recorded voice finally said I would be connected with the next available service representative, I got two rings and then a recorded message saying that the office was now closed, followed by the office hours.

Could that vital bit of information not have been imparted prior to the game of 20 questions??

We'll get back to them later.

So on to the satellite people. We have used StarChoice (now Shaw) ever since we started using satellite television. I checked their website for an easy-move option, but again, with dial-up, it takes forever. So I dug around to find a phone number and then gave them a call.

During the HHT, I did notice that there was a dish on the roof of the house in Thompson, but it was too high up to see who owned it, Bell or StarChoice.

"It's not ours," I was told by my friendly StarChoice representative, but that's no problem, we have plenty of time before the move (3 weeks and counting) to have the StarChoice system installed and ready to go. (Remember that as you read on. . . no problem to have a new system installed and ready for action in three weeks). And so, we went through it all: my current address, my future address, name, address, phone number, shoe size, favourite liqueur . . . and then it happened.

I'm sorry, Thompson is a self-install area. We don't do installations there. We can send you the dish, converter and so on, and all you have to do is get the cable, climb on to the roof of your two-storey house, run the cables through the walls to where you want them . . . blah, blah, blah. I had stopped listening.

I explained that I had enough on my plate with the transfer without having to figure out how to do a major installation on move-in day.

"I guess it must be a Bell dish and it will just be easier to go with them," I said.

The kindly representative expressed her grief in my decision, sorry to lose a customer and all that, and then offered to connect me to the customer service people in order to kill my account. But, she warned me, cancellation requires one month's notice. One month's notice?? So to install a new system requires three week's notice, but to cancel the account requires four?? Come on people, do you really wonder why you're hated? Why we feel like we're being screwed over every time we turn around?? Why we're sick and freakin' tired of your "friendly customer service representatives??" Roses and sunshine while we're taking your money, but try to leave after paying for the service for 8 years and we're gonna just grab a little more of your cash before you go.

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. As I continue trying to change my address with all of my service providers, I am sure there will be more to come.

Big smile, big smile.