"You're not going to like my answer."

Okay, here's something I didn't know until yesterday. Apparently I'm not qualified to say where the plumbing in my house is leaking . . . even if the water is squirting out of a very specific place like, say a valve.

No, no. It's true. I found that out yesterday when I called the City of Portage La Prairie's "After Hours Trouble Calls" phone number. Turns out that connects you to the fire department. Didn't know that either. 

Anyhoo, the reason I was calling the City of Portage is the leak in the plumbing is on "their side" of the water system in my house. Everything before the water meter belongs to them. Everything after the meter belongs to me. Did you know that one?

**Edit: Found out Monday that the city is responsible only to the shut-off valve at the road. Not the meter inside. Different than other cities I lived in and apparently news to the guy I spoke to on the After Hours Trouble Call line. **

So, the valve used to shut off the water to my home is on "their side" of the meter. So, if it is leaking, it is their responsibility to fix it. That's why I called them yesterday. It was leaking. And, depending on where on the open-closed spectrum the valve was turned, it would leak a little, a lot, or not at all. And I don't like that. I wanted it replaced before it went WHOOOSH all over my basement.

The kindly gentleman who answered the "After Hours Trouble Calls" phone, and listened to my problem, told me I was not going to like his response. He was right.

See, this is where I learned that I'm incapable of determining where the leak is. I was told that I had to call a licensed plumber to come to my house and look at the leak. If the licensed plumber agreed with my lay assessment, he would, in a very professional manner I must assume, call the City of Portage La Prairie back and let them know they had a leak on "their side" of my household plumbing. Action, again, I must assume, would follow.

So naturally, I asked if the Mayor's brother was a plumber desperately in need of work. Don't really know of another reason for such an asinine policy.

But hey, policy is policy. It's a great thing to hide behind and ensures no one has to think or make an actual decision. Just follow policy. And it frightens me, just a little, when I think about what would have happened if this was a major leak, spilling gallons and gallons of water into my basement during this conversation with the fire department.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I was calling a fully trained, licensed and professional plumber to come to my house, after 5 p.m., on a Saturday, to determine where the leak was. Might surprise you to learn it's not easy to find a fully trained, licensed and professional plumber to come to my house, after 5 p.m., on a Saturday. But it's true. The one I finally reached, after making several unsuccessful calls, said he was very busy. He asked me if the handle on the valve was blue. I said that yes, it was. 

He said a lot of them leak in certain positions on the open-close spectrum. He advised me to find a position that didn't leak and maybe call the City of Portage La Prairie on Monday. 

See, that's why they get the big bucks. I had already found a position on the open-close spectrum that stopped the leaking. I still wanted, and want, a new valve. I do not like water in the little space under the stairs where I store stuff. And I do not like it when water shoots out of a valve any time I open or close it. Seems a little counterproductive to me.

Anyhoo, that's what I learned yesterday. On Monday, I'll be phoning the good folks at the City of Portage and I'm almost positive I'll have more to tell you after that.

Have a great, dry Sunday!