This too shall pass . . . I hope

I've lived it, I've witnessed it, but I still don't understand it.

What is it that drives brothers to make each other miserable? Is it a competition thing? Is it part of the reindeer games? I'm trying to remember, but I can't.

Yesterday, I had an eye appointment. They had to take pictures of my optic nerve (part of the diabetes fun!) and my pupils were dilated for too long afterward. But that's me. This is about the minions.

While at the optometrist's, Sontoo asked if he would be getting a toothbrush. He kinda figured we were at the dentist's. Similar chair I guess. The guy laughed and promised Sontoo a lollipop instead. And for the next 20 minutes it was all he could talk about. 

Bottom line is the boy got his treat and enjoyed it to its fullest extent.

Fast forward a few hours. Sonwun finishes school. My pupils are still dilated. I pick him up and bring him home. And what is the first thing out of Sontoo's mouth? Well, I didn't really hear it, but the gist of it was that he got a lolly today and, more importantly, Sonwun did not.

This is not the first time Sontoo has done this. And it always has the desired effect. Sonwun comes whining to me about not getting a lollipop, and how unfair it is that Sontoo got one and he did not.

** Breaking News **

6:35 a.m. and the phone rings. The "phone tree" for Sonwun's school. Didn't know they had one. Watermain break, no school today. Should make for a better blog tomorrow.

Back to our regularly scheduled rambling.

Where was I? Oh yeah, unfair goodie distribution.

Sonwun can just not see anything beyond the lolly gap. If I had filled his school lunch box with chocolate bars, gummy bears, root beer and peanut butter treats, he would still come home and react the same way to the single lollipop that Sontoo got, and he didn't.

But I'm getting off topic here. This was about cruelty to siblings. I grew up in a house with five kids, so I know a little bit about it. I was an older brother, so I knew the joy of torturing a younger brother. I was a younger brother, so I knew the joy of being tortured by older ones. And now, honestly, I don't remember why it was so important to do, or why it was such fun.

For Sonwun, I guess it's about control. He's older. He wants to lead the games, call the shots, choose the TV shows and win every time at MarioKart. And being older, he usually does.

Sontoo, I guess, will take some control wherever he can find it. Even if it's in a simple lollipop story that causes Sonwun to melt down.

As we age, we realize something that these boys simply can not fathom just yet. That by losing control, you lose the game.

If Sonwun came home and didn't react in any way to the lollipop story, it would end there. If, when Sontoo started playing the "say everything you say" game, Sonwun ignored him, it would again end immediately. But the "Stop Copying Me!" standard response to the game only escalates the situation until someone gets bonked on the head with a Transformer.

I still don't get it. But I must accept it as a fact of life and just do my best to referee it. Siblings love to torture each other. I can only hope that as they age this stuff fades away, as it has with my brothers and sisters. Family will always be family. Friends come and go, and now, thanks to Facebook, they can be unfriended. But you can't, and you never should, unfamily.

Have a great Tuesday. I think we're gonna go tobogganing!