Rejected

Well, I apparently don't qualify as an RCMP spouse.

At least according to the Facebook Group, Spouses of the RCMP.

No big deal really, but I have to wonder why. I mean, according to the intro page to the "closed" group, it is for "all of you out there who have uprooted their lives to follow your husbands and wives as they pursue their careers with the RCMP. The nights and weekends spent without your partner, the missed holidays, the new jobs/homes, leaving your family and friends behind... Can you relate?!?"

Um, yes, I can relate. I am intimately acquainted with all of the above. My wife is currently away in Ottawa for two months taking some advanced training. I think that covers the "nights and weekends spent without your partner" clause.

Missed holiday? Um, yes again. Without going into too much detail, there have been a few. Several Christmas mornings waiting for night shift to end . . . turkey dinner invites where I was to meet up with the wife, who was on shift at the time.

New jobs/homes - see the blog entries for the last couple of months.

Leaving your family and friends behind?

Yeah, I think I qualify. However, I am also thinking that my penis is getting in the way. I just don't have any other explanation for my rejection. Mostly because one has not been provided. It was about a month ago that I applied for membership. It took a few days, but I get a note from the "administrator" Christina Marie. She asked me to tell them a little bit about myself and my connection with the RCMP. I did so, outlining recent postings, my stint as an RCMP clerk and so forth.

I have waited a month now for acceptance and I must accept the fact that it's not coming. But I would have been nice if they at least sent me a note telling my why I've been excluded.

"Dear Mike,

Clearly, you qualify for acceptance into our little group, as it is advertised. But I'm afraid there is a problem. You pee standing up and the rest of us don't. The consensus is that you would add nothing to the discussions on child birth, clothes shopping and menstrual irregularities. And, quite frankly, we don't want to hear your views on beer, football and small engine repair. We realize we should probably change the information on Facebook to reflect this reality, but we don't want to appear sexist.

Thank you for your interest, but we are not interested in you.

The Real (Female) Spouses of the RCMP."

That would just make me feel so much better. A little honesty goes a long way.

I wanted to send a note to Christina Marie this morning, asking what was happening with my application. But the link to her message box has been severed. When I click on her picture (which is one of those non-pictures, by the way), nothing happens. I can't get in touch. Not only have I been rejected, I've apparently been forbidden from attempting to find out why.

Well, I'm a shit-disturber from way back, and I just can't resist this one. So today, I will send in a second application for membership. I am sorely tempted to find a picture of a female for my profile, change my name to Michelle and see how it goes. But I won't. I will be myself, a man, a stay-at-home dad and a proud RCMP spouse. If that's not good enough, well, screw 'em. I'll let you know how it turns out.

In the meantime, it's shopping day! Woohoo. It's also laundry day and I just can't wait to play with my new washing machine, which was delivered yesterday at supper time. Livin' the dream baby!

Seven days, five hours and 43 minutes until Mommy comes home!