Bad Daddy

I just don't get it. And maybe that makes me a bad daddy, I don't know.

I don't mean to rag on playgroup, but I just can't help myself. I don't understand anything beyond the basic concept that kids need a chance to play together. That's why I take the boys. End of story. Oh, sorry, not quite end of story. I also take them so that they can paint with their fingers and I don't have to bath the kids, the walls, the table, the dog and the cat— just the kids.

I don't take them so that someone else can read a story to them. I do that at home.

I don't take them for "Snack Time." Again, they do that at home.

I don't take them so that I can sit, drink really bad coffee and ignore them while they run rampant. They don't get that anywhere.

And I don't take them because "This Month is Reading Month." So freakin' what? Why, oh why, do we need a theme each month? The average age of the kids is a little under three. They don't give a rodent's behind that February is Reading Month. It doesn't change the routine at Playgroup. Same schedule, same kids, same songs, same stories, same toys, whether it's Reading Month, Alphabet Month, Vowel Month, Correct Punctuation Month, or Daddy needs a Stiff Drink to get Through This Month!

But again, I digress.

Today was Valentine's Playgroup. So, today's Craft Time involved decorating a little paper bag for Valentines. And again, I don't get it. Remember, these kids are between 0 and 4. They have no concept of Valentine's Day. To the vast majority, that is not what Playgroup is about. It's about (anyone?) . . . playing.

In any case, not wanting to be a bad Mommy, I sat down with Sonwun, the elder, and we attempted to decorate a paper bag. Now, to Sonwun, Craft Time is about spreading as much glue as possible, on as many things as possible. It's about cutting paper in no particular shape or design, cause scissors are fun. It's about rubbing markers in random places. And it's about finding out how many stickers are in the box and how many we can use at once. So today we did it all on a brown paper bag.

Three to five minutes later, after the kids lost interest and headed off to find toys, the Mommies were busy writing the Valentines and completing the paper bags. And again, I ask why? Why, why why? The kids giving the cards don't care. The kids receiving the cards don't know where they came from and they don't care either. Why do it?

Now, the "Keener Moms" brought Valentines from home. Us bad Mommies (most of us) were given Dollar Store Valentines to fill out so that they could be placed in the other kids' paper bags. The peer pressure was palpable. But I had Sontoo in one hand and was trying to keep Sonwun out of trouble with the other. I did not have the time, or the inclination, to fill out cards on his behalf. I refused to bow to peer pressure - a better lesson for my kids than how to be phony on the holidays. (Or, if you prefer my conspiracy theory mind at work: a better lesson than beginning the Hallmark brainwashing that will compel them for the rest of their lives to purchase impersonal cards, written by others, to express their personal thoughts on birthdays and holidays. PICK UP THE PHONE PEOPLE!!)

But back to Playgroup.

If we must do something for Valentine's Day, (and apparently we must) why not make a card for Daddy (or Mommy in my case). You know, construction paper, heart stickers and maybe an ink pad or something so that the kids can "sign" it with a handprint. Mommy would absolutely love it. The kids would be able to give it to mommy and understand why. Okay, if we're being honest, maybe Daddies wouldn't appreciate it quite as much as Mommies. But at least the kids would have some idea of what they're doing and why. (And Hallmark would be deprived of another lifelong customer). And if a handmade card doesn't cut it, maybe Mommy could bring a bottle of Daddy's favourite Scotch to Playgroup and let the kids decorate that with hearts and pawprints. I know he'd appreciate it.