Dad . . . Grumpy Dad

Yesterday, I mentioned the neighbourhood in which I grew up. I fondly remembered the fact that all the kids played together, up and down the street, without fear. The moms were watching.

Well, be careful what you wish for.

It seems our backyard is becoming THE place to hang out in the 'hood. And I'm not that fond of it.

Last night, for example, there were five kids here. Sonwun (4), Sontoo (2), B.A. (7) and two girls, both 8. Don't know the girls' names. Around these parts, it seems, these kids wander the neighbourhood and have no fear of entering someone else's backyard and playing with the toys.

And you know, given the state of the public playgrounds, I guess I can understand. There are fewer broken whiskey bottles in my backyard, and less drug paraphernalia laying around. (I try to stay on top of these things).

But I guess it's the age of these kids that concerns me. I mean, I don't think they're here to play with a four-year-old. I think they're here for the toys. And, apparently, to open my garage door and go through the contents to see if there are any toys I forgot to put out in the yard. That makes me uncomfortable.

This began a few weeks ago when B.A. and his friend, C.K., showed up out of the blue, wanting to play with Sonwun. Now, C.K. is at least the same age as Sonwun, so that wasn't a factor. However, it really concerned me that a four-year-old was wandering the neighbourhood by himself.

I asked around and discovered that he's been doing that for more than a year. Yes, he was wandering the street, unaccompanied, at the age of three, in the violent crime capital of Canada. That really bothers me.

One of the eight-year-old girls that showed up yesterday told Neomom that her mom had gone to a birthday party and felt the need to share that there would be "drinking" at the party. The fact that she pointed this out really bothers me. Why did she?

I want to be happy that Sonwun has kids to play with. I want to be happy that they are coming to my house to do it. That way, after all, I can keep an eye on him.

But I'm not.

Seven-year-olds and eight-year-olds are really good at manipulating and dominating four-year-olds. I don't like that.

And I don't like baby sitting the children of people I don't know. Aside from the fact that I'm not getting paid, I am concerned about what could happen if one of them fell of the swing, or fell off my deck. The world is becoming more and more litigious and I don't want to be on the receiving end of a lawsuit.

This is a new phase in my dad development, and I'm just not sure how to handle it yet. Do I ban the older kids? Do I try to contact the parents? Not sure I want to do that. Not sure I want a relationship with them, because given what I have heard and seen, I don't want to have to deal with an invitation for Sonwun to go play in their yard. Not gonna happen.

And you know, the final thing that bothers me is that I'm feeling a little like the "grumpy dad" of the neighbourhood and, worse, like a bit of a snob. I really hate both titles.

But the bottom line is that I'm looking out for my boys. I don't want either one wandering anywhere out of my sight just yet. Yes, the time will come, but it just ain't here yet. And I'm fine with that. Especially considering where we live right now.

Still don't know exactly what to do about all this. But for now, I guess I'll just own the grumpy dad and snob titles. 'Cause grumpy dad, is first and foremost a dad. And, in spite of what others think about that title, and what it means, I've got to go with what I believe it means.

Have a great Sunday! And Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, especially my own.