Nutty

Okay, I'd been warned. Kiddies Northern Preschool is a Nut Aware Environment.

But, being the carefree, devil-may-care rebel that I am . . . I sent my son to school with Ritz cracker cheese sandwich snacky things. And you know, at the grocery store, when I bought them, I even checked to make sure they were the cheese variety and not the peanut butter ones. I try to be a good Nut Aware kinda guy.

But yesterday, when I picked up Sonwun from preschool, he announced that his cracker snacks were still in his Lightning McQueen lunch box. Oh, said I, didn't you like them?

"They have peanut butter in them," he said.

"What?????!!! Who told you that?"

"Teacher."

Well, was I embarrassed. Clearly I'd read the package wrong. Coulda sworn it said "Crackers with Real Cheese" on the front. No mention of the peanut butter.

So . . . we got home. I opened the lunch box. Taped to the offending snack food was a note, printed on Caution Orange paper.

"DUE TO LIFE THREATENING ALLERGIES WE CANNOT OPEN THIS SNACK AT PRESCHOOL THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS NUTS OR IS MADE IN A FACTORY THAT CONTAINS NUTS.

THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION
KIDDIES NORTHERN PRESCHOOL STAFF"

Yeah, it was in all capital letters. Kinda like they were yelling at me. At least they didn't write "Yo, butthead. Thanks for the ticking time bomb you thoughtlessly lobbed into the middle of a group of preschoolers. Nice move, you insensitive turd."

So, I took a closer look at the ol' time bomb from the good folks at Christie. I looked at the label: Yup. Crackers with Real Cheese. I looked at the substance between the crackers. Yup. Cheese. Orange in colour. I looked at the ingredients . . . no mention of peanuts, peanut butter or peanut oil.

And then, there it was, in tiny red print: "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRACE AMOUNTS OF PEANUTS."

Okay, fine, I screwed up. I sent my son to preschool with a snack that may contain trace amounts of peanuts. But, to be fair, I had no idea I'd committed this crime. And I simply do not have time at the grocery store to seek out the fine print on every product I buy.

I had no idea that this peanut allergy thing was so strict. I mean, seriously? Because peanuts are present at a factory, the snack is forbidden? Seems like we've gone a little overboard here.

I suspect that half the kids who show up at school on any given day "may contain trace amounts of peanuts." Toast and peanut butter for breakfast . . . unless a post-breakfast chemical decontamination is part of your daily routine, odds are pretty good your kid "may contain trace amounts of peanuts." I'll suggest slightly more than trace amounts on some of the less hygiene-inclined kids.

But, you know, even if I manage to get every trace of peanut butter off Sonwun before school, I can't escape the fact the HE was "made in a factory that contains peanuts."

Oh well, live and learn. I am now more nut aware.

Have a great Friday.