Double Agent in the Refrigerator

So let's talk diaper rash. What could be more fun than that?

I consider myself a veteran of the bum rash wars and am always prepared for a call to action. And the call came about a week after mommy left for her first month in Ottawa. Sontoo's little tushy started turning red. No problem, said I, SAHD extraordinaire. We just add a little of this Desenex stuff with each diaper change and the problem will go away.

Well, it worked a little bit, and then it got worse. I gained ground, lost ground and then lost a little more ground. I was losing the war and poor Sontoo's little bottom was the collateral damage.

Time to call in reinforcements. I headed for my computer and did some bum rash research. Possible causes: diaper too small, insufficent change schedule and not enough free-bum time: more air time, less diaper time.

And so I changed the battle plan, headed out, bought larger diapers, changed the diaper every hour, even if he hadn't used it for what it was intended. I continued the Desenex regimen and began to see some improvement. The battle was turning, even though I ignored the free-bum suggestion. Sorry, but that might work for the little ones who can't walk yet, but I'm not turning Sontoo into a walking sprinkler/fertilizer for my carpets and floors. That would be like bombing civilian targets and it's in clear violation of the terms of the Geneva Convention.

Anyway, by the time Mommy made it home for the two-day break the troops were weary and the battle was not going well.

"It's gone fungal," she declared. Time to bring in the big guns. Back off to the quarter master's store (Shopper's Drug Mart) to procure some serious chemical weaponry. Geneva Convention be damned, my boy's bottom was at stake.

The quarter master recommended clotrimazole, a weapon commonly used against jock itch and athlete's foot. Just a little, he warned. Maybe twice a day and just a thin smear.

Game on!

By the time the wife left for another month in Ottawa, after her two-day visit, the tide was turning. We seemed to be pushing the enemy back, albeit slowly. And, within a week we were back to a happy, normal bum.

But what I didn't know was that the war was not over. The enemy was lurking within our home. Silently hiding; a double agent in the refrigerator waiting, lulling me into a false sense of security. And two days ago, it struck again.

I have always considered Kiwi my friend. Both boys love it and it's loaded with vitamins, fibre - all the good stuff. And so, two days ago, I realized the boys hadn't had kiwi in some time. So I bought some and served it up as part of their healthy breakfast.

Well, by lunch time, Sontoo looked like a baboon in heat. Now, the suddenness of the rash finally clicked. It had to be food related and kiwi was the only thing I hadn't fed them in a while.

I looked it up on the 'net and, sure enough, I wasn't alone in my suspicions. I read several reports from moms and dads who had unwittingly discovered the kiwi connection.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not bad-mouthing the kiwi. I consider it a valuable ally at meal time. It remains a delicious, nutritious source of food. But, for those of you who don't know it, kiwi is a double agent that can blister the bottom of innocent young, diaper-clad civilians.

Yeah, I know some of you are saying "Duh! We know that you moron."

But I write this just in case there are some of you who didn't know. If I can save one innocent tushy from the pain of diaper rash, my time is well spent.